This is one of those books that’s been on TBR List for a while. When it first came out I actually avoided it because I didn’t want to read about what I was experiencing. But my spiritual director recommended it would be helpful so I pulled it off the shelf, blew the dust off, and jumped right in. And boy was it helpful.
I really appreciated how author Chuck DeGroat consistently calls his readers to a posture of humility. They may not be the grandiose narcissist we typically think of, but all of us feel the pull to preserve and project a false self to the detriment of our own soul. It would be easy to pick up this book for ammunition to rage against the narcissists in our lives. But it gently pulls us towards healthy, Christ-like humility and what a healthy relationship with ourselves looks like.
This book will also help you see narcissistic behavior so you can guard yourself against its abuses. Page after page I found myself saying, “Yep, been there. Experienced that. Glad to know I’m not crazy.” It helped me personally understand how past wounds made me stay in a narcissistic environment for as long as I did. If you have ever been hurt by narcissism in the church, reading this book will help you feel seen and validated. It will also give you the tools to help navigate and get out of that dangerous environment. Chuck pulls from decades of counseling experience to help his readers understand the wounds that lead to narcissist behavior while at the same time time holding narcissists accountable for their abusive behavior. And does so while displaying the true heart of a pastor.
I highly recommend reading When Narcissism Comes to the Church. You can pick up your own copy by clicking the link below.